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Alzheimer’s Disease Agitation
Loving Someone Through Alzheimer’s

Released: August 03, 2026

Audra Morgan
Audra Morgan
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Key Takeaways
  • Agitation in Alzheimer’s disease can substantially disrupt daily life, affecting patient safety, relationships, routines, quality of life, and the likelihood of institutionalization.
  • Caregivers are essential partners in recognition and management, but they often experience significant emotional, physical, and logistical burden and need clear education, support, and communication from the care team.
  • Caregivers may describe agitation and psychosis-related symptoms in varied, nonclinical ways; HCPs should recognize these symptoms from descriptions of behavioral changes to support timely assessment and management.

I've always been a caregiver. At 60 years old, I am a daughter, a mother, and now a grandmother. I adopted my niece when she was a year old, raised her, and years later found myself helping raise her 2 children. Caring for the people I love has always been part of who I am.

When my mother worried about what would happen if my stepfather died before she did, I promised she would always have a home with me. I told her I would take care of her. That promise was easy to make. She wasn't just my mother; she was my best friend and my travel buddy. We dreamed about places we wanted to visit, spending more time outdoors, and making new memories together.

Then my stepfather passed away in September 2019. Not long afterward, I began noticing changes in my mother's short-term memory. At first, we were told it was probably stress and grief. But instead of improving, her memory continued to decline. We eventually moved to Georgia together, looking forward to a new chapter filled with time outdoors, sightseeing, and meeting new people.

It wasn't the chapter either of us imagined.

Before my mother became ill, I thought Alzheimer's disease was mostly about memory loss. I was not prepared for how completely it could change the way someone experiences the world or how frightening that world must sometimes feel. I was not prepared for how completely it would change our relationship or how often frustration and grief would visit me. Loving someone with Alzheimer’s is a long goodbye to familiarity, for all parties involved.

My mother always took pride in keeping a beautiful home. Today, she still believes she's the one caring for it, cooking and cleaning, even though Alzheimer's has gradually taken away her ability to do many of the things she once loved. She can’t even really use a broom properly. At the same time, she'll become deeply distressed by messes that don't exist. She'll insist that my granddaughter's room or bathroom is filthy when it isn't. Sometimes that distress grows into yelling, slamming doors and cabinets, or throwing dishes.

These moments are painful because they're so unlike the woman we've always known.

Alzheimer's has also changed the way my mother interprets the people and events around her. She has become convinced that people visit our home every day when they haven't. She worries that people she meets at the senior center will begin coming to our house. She sometimes sees my granddaughter not as the capable 17-year-old she is today, but as a much younger child. Most painful of all, she's told family members that my granddaughter and I are holding her hostage and trying to control her.

That guts me.

I'm doing everything I can to make our home a place where she feels safe and cared for. Yet because of this disease, the people who love her most have sometimes become the very people she fears.

Sleep has become another challenge. My mother sleeps much more than she once did, and when she wakes, dreams and reality sometimes seem to blend together. She'll suddenly ask, "Has everybody finally left?" If I ask who she means, her confusion can quickly turn into anger. In those moments, I remind myself that what she's experiencing feels completely real to her, even when it doesn't match what the rest of us see.

Giving up driving was another difficult loss. Long before she stopped driving, she would become lost but insist she'd simply chosen to stay out longer. Eventually, it became clear it was no longer safe for her to drive. Although she hasn't driven in more than a year and no longer has access to the keys, she still believes she should be behind the wheel. If our car is not within her sight from her bedroom window, she'll call every 2 minutes because she's convinced she's been left without transportation.

I've also learned that there are still moments when I catch glimpses of the mother I've always known. When she's engaged with other people or we're able to travel together on a cruise, her mood is often lighter than it is at home. Those moments remind me that even as Alzheimer's changes so much, pieces of her are still there.

The hardest part of caregiving hasn't been watching my mother's memory fade. It's been watching Alzheimer's slowly reshape the relationship we've shared our entire lives. I know my mother isn't choosing these behaviors. I know she isn't trying to hurt us. Alzheimer's has changed how she understands the world around her, and the fear and confusion it creates can become overwhelming. Knowing that helps me find compassion, but it doesn't erase the frustration and heartbreak of watching someone you love become frightened by a reality only they can see and be helpless to do anything to make it better.

Sometimes I find myself wondering what the future holds for my mother and for me. After walking this journey beside her, I can't help but wonder whether one day someone might be caring for me in the same way. If that day ever comes, I hope they'll remember what I've learned caring for my mother: the fear, the anger, and the confusion aren't who she is. They're what Alzheimer's has done to her.

Your Thoughts
When agitation in Alzheimer’s disease threatens safety or quality of life, how should healthcare professionals balance the patient’s autonomy, caregiver well-being, and the potential risks of treatment?

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